BFF# 138 Masks

I walk these halls with hundreds of others,
but no one ever sees me, just through me.
It’s like I don’t exist.
Until somebody bumps into me,
and all my books fall to the floor.
No one helps me.
They just walk over me.
I sit alone at lunch every day,
eating quietly and trying not to be seen.
I see everyone.
The jocks, the cheerleaders, the geeks,
the nerds, the musicians, and the cool guys.
Where do I fit in? 
Even the outcasts don’t want me.
I ride the bus home most afternoons.
It’s a long ride home.
I sit by myself; no one sits with me.
I know they are talking. 
I see everyone stare and whisper.
My stop is finally here and I leave quickly.
But now they shout their hatred out the window.
I am mortified.
I wear a mask to hide my anguish.
I tell my mother there is nothing wrong.
But I lie. I lie to her every day.
I don’t want her see my suffering.
But she sees me. She hears them.
I can’t hide.
I wear the mask.
A mask to hide every pain.
I have one for every occasion.
I’ve been wearing them for a long time.
I don’t know how to live without them.
Who am I?
Where is the real me?
I left my home.
Over two thousand miles I fled.
I needed to see if I could start a new life.
One free from the past and the pain.
But the masks followed me here.
I had to wear them for many years,
and be someone else that others wanted me to be.
I have done everything you’ve asked.
I thought you needed me.
I wore the mask you wanted me to wear.
It wasn’t good enough.
The music died and the dancing faded away.
You took everything from me.
Now I’m left wondering who I am.
It took a long time to see
that the masks I wore
were a waste of time.
I thought they would protect me.
But all they did was hide who I was,
and kept me from living
a life meant to be.
Now I live mask-free.
What you see, is what you get.
I have nothing to hide.
Not anymore.
People want to see me,
and appreciate what I have to offer.
I wonder what they would think of me now?
I don’t care anymore.
It’s their loss.
The music is finally playing,
and the dancing has returned.
I am happy and free,
and finally ready to throw out
the masks that have hid me.

Susan's Blog Signature

***I have written this piece for a group on Facebook that I have joined, BFF Blogging For Fun. Interested in more…click on the picture below to take you there. Don’t forget to check out my friends at One Stop Blog World, a collective of all the great blog sites of which I am a member!

  • Jo

    I like the mask free Susan! A lot! Dancing is free is a great thing. This is an awesome poem. Great job.

  • Just excellent!

  • This was beautifully written Susan. It was so sad throughout, but I was thrilled with the happy ending where the mask was finally discarded. Brilliant!!

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com/

  • Jo, Elizabeth and Kathy…thank you for your kind words. It's not my best work as poems go. I'm not much of a poet at all actually. But the words have weighed heavily on my mind for a very long time and finally needed to be said. I am happy now and dancing again! The masks are finally gone…the writing has helped make that happen. I just love my writing friends!

  • Wow! So much emotion in one piece. Excellent! I'm glad you are free.