I finally feel like I am coming back. It has been a long road. I would do anything for my family, to the point of putting my own health at risk. But let’s face it, when push comes to shove, family is family and that is what we do.
Now that I am back, I’ve spent the last three weeks and two days trying to find me again. You see, I put her aside for awhile and upon my return, I think she got lost somewhere between here and my parents home. With absolutely no ambition to do much of anything outside of work, I even have no desire to hang out with anybody except my husband. I’m not even going to the annual work holiday party this year. I just can’t bring myself to go.
Today is the last day of November, and I’m sitting here now, watching a new holiday movie called, The Christmas Clause. The main character in this movie reminds me so much of myself. Busy career woman who volunteers for everything and spends so much of her life letting things pass her by because she is so darn busy. That used to be me, until I had the largest wakeup call in the world. Since I’ve been home, I simply don’t have the energy or even care about much of anything.
I will say that I managed to write four articles for my gig at Examiner.com. It was at the last possible minute before the deadline. They were wondering if I dropped of the face of the planet, even saying they might drop me if I didn’t write something soon. I got it done…can’t believe I actually remember how to use the uploading program! Suffice it to say,I think my writing mojo is starting to return. That’s a good start to finding me again.
I feel like I’ve missed the holidays…didn’t get to participate in Halloween for obvious reasons. Thanksgiving was really low-key…thank goodness for a husband who can cook. Tomorrow is December 1st and I can finally put up my advent calendar. I’ve been looking forward to that all year. Tomorrow I hope to wrap the presents I already have and take inventory of what else I need. I’m not interested in making this the “best Christmas ever”, just wanting to do a little less…for real this time.
I do want to put up my trees, I have lots of ornaments that have not been out of their boxes in years. This is definitely something I’m planning on doing later this coming week. The hubs is going to handle the lights. Other than that…I’m not sure what else I want to do. I’ve already started the Christmas cards…just need to finish the holiday letter which is going to be pretty basic. I’ll probably bake a few things, but not much more than that.Less is definitely more this year. No Secret Santa, no excess…just me, my guy and some alone time…enjoying my movies, and relaxing in the joys of the season.
I am thinking about 2014. I’ve always made plans, but somehow they seem to fall apart. I know I always do too much, but I’ve lost so much of myself these last several months, I don’t know what to do. I’ve come up with an idea though…
2014 is going to be the Year of Finding Me.
Wishing you moments to find out who you are,
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