I felt I would be remiss if I didn’t at least say something…I have been trying to push this day out of my sight and mind for a long time. But the truth is, I can’t. About seven weeks ago, I was asked to review a book for another fairly well-known website. It was called, That Day in September by Artie Van Why. It was a personal account from someone who was actually there, inside the Twin Towers, when they were struck by the two airplanes and ultimately collapsed.
Needless to say, I was apprehensive about reading the book. No, let’s just be honest here. I was afraid. I was afraid to bring up the past and go thru the hurt all over again. I had been dealing with so many other things, was I really ready to go here and add to the pain I was already feeling? No. But I had to face my fears. I had to find the courage. What is the expression? I think it goes something like this…”Courage isn’t the absence of of fear, it’s taking action in the face of it.”
So I took action and agreed to read the book. My review can be read here.
My fear has not been washed away. I haven’t been able to watch regular television or listen to the radio all weekend. I have read very little on the internet; mostly I’ve been writing and trying to forget, but I can’t. I am angry that there is not a single thing that I can do to bring back the lives that we have lost and return them to their loved ones. I grieve for their families and all of us who are left behind. I can never erase the images out of my mind, nor will anyone else. I feel helpless…I am numb.
It has been so quiet outside today. Overcast skies and no sun. I’ve had a horrible headache since Friday. It’s even worse now. The universe must know that we are mourning today. Our lives have forever been altered, the course of our history changed…forever.
It’s been 10 years now. A part of me died that day, and now I feel that another part of me has died all over again. The pain never goes away…
4 thoughts on “That Day In September”
I feel so raw too. It's like a cut that you don't want to touch, but can't help touching it anyway. Just know that you're not alone and the more we talk or write, the better it will be (eventually). In the meantime, thanks for writing–you made me feel less alone.
I read 'That Day in September' and although I found his acount of the day harrowing, I was far more moved by his efforts to come to terms with what had happened in the years that followed.
I really need to get that book and read it. I will soon…but like you, I have trouble going there…the hurt too raw.
Great post. Cheers!! Jenn.
Sad but true. I thought I was over shedding tears, but I found out that I am not.