Ambition

Do you ever spend part of your day just wasting time doing nothing important because you have no ambition or desire to do anything at all? Worse yet, doing meaningless things that just while away time that you’ll never get back. If the answer to that question is a big, fat “YES”, then I know exactly how you feel. 

I don’t know what it is, but I have had such a lack of ambition lately I don’t know what has come over me. I am thinking that it is really because I am just flat out tired. Tired of working like crazy, tired of not being able to get my own things done, tired of wasting time on playing meaningless video games, tired of being tired.

I think I am just worn out. That has to be the reason because I have been sleeping a bit more so that I can gain my physical and mental energy back. Once that returns, I think I will be able to get my ambition back to do the things I want to do, whether work related or not.

I wonder if my problem is due to the fact that I worked an extraordinary amount of overtime last year. Although, I have spent the better part of my career working a lot of hours, so I don’t know why I would feel any different. I like working by I am beginning to like it a little less because it takes me away from the things I love more. 

I suppose work is the thing that identifies me, but it is not the only thing. The older I get, the more I remember about the other things that I want to be known for…such as my compassion, my writing and other creative projects, my loyalty and love for my family and friends. 

While I may have a temporary lack of ambition, my desire to get things done has not waned. I have noticed that I am accomplishing a few things here and there on my never-ending “To Do List”. Not as much as I would like, but enough to make me feel better about things.

The more I think about it, I truly believe this is God’s way of telling me to slow down and enjoy life a little more. He’s right. I do work way too hard and forget about the simple joys in life. I am more than my job, I am more than my writing and hobbies. I am more than…I am just me…Susan.