I Am Not A Mom

  No Mother’s Day brunch,
or handmade gift shall I receive.
I long for the love of a child,
but I can only grieve.
I am not a mom.
 
Friends old and new,
once single like me.
Married with families,
content to let me be “aunty.”
But I am not a mom.
 
Some may choose to not be one,
but the choice was ripped from my hands.
I wanted but can never have,
the one thing that was part of my plans.
I will still never be a mom.
 
Every year in May,
I weep for the loss.
It is the overwhelming sadness,
that is my cross.
I cannot be a mom.
 
Am I jealous,
you could say yes.
But I squelch my envy
because it just makes me stress.
I wish I was a mom.
 
I hear others say
but you are one really.
Just a different kind,
perhaps more ideally.
I could be a mom.
 
But I am still sad,
and will never hide it.
A part of me is missing
more than I care to admit.
No…I am not a mom.
 

For those of you like me, I understand…

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  • So sorry to hear your pain and frustration through this but thanks for sharing. Please know that sometimes being a mom is not about having your own kid but celebrating that young kids look up to you. Spoil yourself today and love each day to its fullest.

    Sarah Butland