To Celebrate or Not

 

anniversary

Whether to celebrate or not, that is the question. Today is August 29, 2022, and it is the third day of my birthday weekend.  I did not know if I wanted to celebrate because it’s been three months since my dad passed away and I am still really sad. Things are not settled for my mom, my family is still somewhat disconnected, and I am trying to not feel or think too much or I will become a puddle of mush. 

Celebrate – Birthday and Anniversary

Not only was it my birthday on the 25th, but it was also E and I’s 30th Anniversary. While it was a milestone for us, we didn’t celebrate. With all the chaos, I don’t think either of us had much we wanted to do. We should have taken a big trip or something.  With the last two years the way they have been, it didn’t feel right. And now as I type this, I am reminded that 30 years ago, shortly before we were married, my grandmother (dad’s stepmom) also passed away. How odd it is to remember this as I hadn’t thought about her in years. 

Our anniversary and my birthday are just three days apart. I would not have planned it like that, but it was just the way it worked out all those years ago. Thinking back on all the drama leading up to our wedding, I sometimes wished we would have just eloped. I wasn’t a bridezilla or anything, but our wedding was nothing like I wanted. Let’s just say that family had a lot to do with it.

30th Anniversary

E and I have been through a lot these last 30 years; 35 if you count the years we dated. There were stressful times and happy times, tearful times and joyous times. But all and all, we survived and I would not want to have spent these last 30 years without him. The fact that our relationship has lasted this long is reason enough to celebrate. I remember E’s old boss in Arizona saying we would not make it. I guess we showed him!

Getting married and moving away may not have been what my family wanted, but it was what I wanted. I had to move to have the life I needed. While we have been thrown many a curve ball, I think we reacted to them to make the best we could for ourselves. 

So this year, I may not celebrate the way I wanted to, but I did celebrate in the way I needed to…quietly, with time to rest and no real agenda in mind. 

Wishing you moments to celebrate in the way you need to…

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