I probably shouldn’t write this. In fact, I have edited it about a dozen times so far, and am wondering if it’s really worth it. But the muse wants me to through it up into the wind and let it drift where it may.

I’m feeling really blue tonight…

Whenever a holiday roles around, I am reminded of how lonely I am without friends or family nearby. I try not to think about it too much; I guess that is why I’ve worked a lot over the years…to forget the fact that everyone is so far away. 

Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me. How can one person not make a friend? Am I that unlikeable? Do I have cooties or something? Oh! I know…I am not one of the beautiful people…or in the in-crowd. Crap…

Not long ago, I commented on my Facebook page about the fact that my high school graduating class was having their reunion. Not a single one of them made an attempt to contact me to let me know. I just happened to stumble across another Facebook page with the information. I must have been really invisible in high school.You know it’s not like I can’t be found. My parents still live in the same town. They are pretty prominent members of the community. I guess I am still invisible.

I am not without friends entirely. There are a handful of core people from throughout my life who to this day, remain good friends. I am grateful for them. You all know who your are.

Former work friends? A few…but far away…again. Current work friends? A couple, but what will happen when the work ends? No telling.

I hate feeling like this! I feel like Snoopy…bleah.

It’s not fair to my one true friend, the one who stands by my side, who would do anything for me and does so all the time. Whenever I feel like this I sulk, in my room, and he sits alone. But he knows I love him and he loves me. I am so lucky…I wouldn’t have made it this far without him. 
But I still need some friends…nearby. Will someone please tell me what is wrong with me? Why am I not good enough?This is something that has bothered me…for years! I’d really like to know.
Ok…I’m off the pity wagon now. But, I still want to know…Ok?  Do I have dog germs?!?!

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I am participating in the Blogging from A-Z Challenge for April 2012. Today’s post is for the letter F.

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