Moving Sadness and Cathartic Packing

moving

My office is moving this coming week. This is my second move since I’ve been with this company. My colleague, whom I share the space with, has already packed up his stuff, and will be gone on vacation when the big move happens. I’m left to box up the rest…again…just like the last time. So I went in early today to start the process.

When I arrived this morning, I was hoping that my office-mate would have done more, but was disappointed as usual. The storage closet was barely touched. I decided to start there, turned on the music and got to boxing everything up.

Cathartic Packing and Overwhelming Sadness

On one hand, there is something very cathartic to packing boxes. I love going through stuff, throwing out unwanted items, cleaning and then reorganizing. I find it very relaxing and hopeful.

On the other hand, this move brings a heaviness into my heart. I’ve been in this office for over a year. It’s been great interacting with everyone on the floor. Now I am moving to a more remote location within the building and will probably not see our employees like I used to. I actually started to cry. I am overwhelmingly sad.

Moving Changes Everything

With this move, brings more changes to my life. The staff will have to seek me out, but the insecure part of me thinks that won’t happen. I know in my heart that since I won’t be sharing an office, the number of people I’ll see on a daily basis will drop dramatically. The impending loneliness is already starting to make me feel anxious. It shouldn’t since I am a hermit by nature, but at this point in my life, anxiety seems to creeping up more often than not. 

Walking the floor, making my rounds has been a part of my routine for the last 12 months. People have gotten used to seeing me, but now I feel that has come to an end. Moving changes everything. I wonder if I’ll be missed. I am not relocating that far away, but I will no longer be in the thick of things. Will I be forgotten…will anyone still come see me…will I even be wanted anymore?

Job Isolation vs. Writer Creativity

My job as a recruiter is pretty isolated save for the interaction with the managers and the new hires. I see the hire process through the moment of orientation, and then after that it is pretty much over. Before I know it, I am on to the next job, the next candidate, the next new hire class. Mostly, I don’t have to think about being lonely.

Among my many duties, I’m also supposed to be a training specialist for which I have not had much time to showcase my talents. Maybe now I’ll get an opportunity to do more of that too. I’ve got a number of things started…just need to find more time to get back to that. As a writer, this helps the creative side to me, so maybe the isolation that is creeping back into my heart will be kept at bay…for now.

I need the creativity more than I need to feel sad and lonely. Perhaps this move will be the best thing for me. Understanding that being alone is not necessarily a bad thing, perhaps the “isolation” with this move will allow me the time to get more accomplished so that I can ultimately leave when the time as right and know that I left this company in a better place than before I started. 

Wishing you moments of understanding,

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