It’s January 1st, and I am sitting here with my laptop, pulling together reflections of a year lost, and making promises for a new year yet to be told. I always like to take the first day of a new year to ponder memories while looking towards a brighter future.
Reflections in Words
2020 was definitely not what I had intended to it to be. I don’t think it was what anyone intended it to be. As a writer, I often like to think of words that I can use to describe something. The words came tumbling out of my head so easily when I asked myself how I might describe 2020:
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- rough
- scary
- tragic
- unsettling
- divisive
- heartbreaking
- loss
- despair
These words are so negative aren’t they? Truthfully, 2020 found us waist deep in a melting pot of negativity. A pandemic? Really? For me, it was more than just a pandemic. It was being surrounded by raging wildfires, watching businesses shutter their doors, and seeing a monumental amount of jobs lost. It was listening to opinions leading to bitterness, rage, and people at war with each other. So much darkness…so much despair. My heart ached with a pain that I thought would never go away.
2020 Asked Me and then Gave Me
This past year tested us beyond our capacity. We made huge sacrifices, and lost so much. In my reflections of 2020, I realized that I wasn’t just being asked to give up things, I was going to give in ways I never imagined. Getting laid off gave me a chance to do things for myself; have a little “me” time. I may have had to shelter-in-place for an indefinite amount of time, but I was a homebody at heart. It really wasn’t too much of a sacrifice. On the financial front, we were prepared for a rainy day, but many others were not.
But really, what was I to do? Well, 2020 spoke loudly, and asked me to put my sewing skills to good use. Perhaps doing a little something for others would make the ache in my heart subside. I had all the supplies, so I set about making as many face masks that I could. When the wildfires hit, I started sewing pillowcases. In addition to what I was working on for me, concentrating on these tasks provided the much needed clarity I sought. The negative words from my initial thoughts turned around and said that 2020 actually gave me:
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- strength
- focus
- peace
- courage
- resilience
- growth
- determination
- hope
Promises for a New Year
2020 brought about a tunnel of darkness that none of us ever imagined. It striped away all the hope, the light, and goodness we had going into the year, and set us into a tailspin. None of us ever imagine that we would have to make such huge sacrifices. But yet we did, and here we are at the start of a new year.
We have experienced loss, and many have suffered greatly. But there is light at the end at the end of the tunnel. We can’t change the past, and we can’t predict the future. However, my faith has been restored that it will get better soon. The decisions made today will affect the future. However, if the outcome is not quite what we wanted, we have the ability to change.
I don’t like to make resolutions; rather I just want to make a promise to myself. 2021 is going to be the year that I continue to remind myself daily that I am more resilient than I thought. I have more strength and more courage. I have a determination that took me down the bumpy road of 2020, and helped me to make decisions that lead me here to a new, more joyful and peaceful life in 2021.
Happy New Year!
